he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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