We won't sleep together?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
please come you make the beer taste better
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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