There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
how drunk are you?
Several
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
