All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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