I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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