I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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