What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
