Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
