So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize