Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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