I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
