I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
