And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
