i'm signing you up for texting rehab
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
