No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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