i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
