Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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