He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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