Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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