I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
