its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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