I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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