Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
