Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
