I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
