how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
