whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
