Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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