I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
