If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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