just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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