They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
