Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
