All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
