No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
