i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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