I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Who died my cat blue again?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
