my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and i looked up. we had an audience...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
