I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
