somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize