Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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