And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
