Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
