omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's official drugs can't kill me
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
