We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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