What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
