Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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