Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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