i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
