It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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