It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
