Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't think brook has ever known best
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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