someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
