I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
