Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
