That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
