How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
