after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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