Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize