She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
