There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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