spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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