So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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