i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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