if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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