Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
