Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
