Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
